When I was 12 years old, I saw the 1937 film “Captains Courageous” starring Spencer Tracy. For those unfamiliar with the film, IMDB describes the film as the story of “a spoiled brat (Freddie Bartholomew) who falls overboard from a steamship in the 1920s, gets picked up by a New England fishing boat, where he's made to earn his keep by joining the crew in their work.”

While watching the film, I experienced a remarkable feeling of familiarity and longing that was notable for its intensity and pervasive nature —a memory that has stayed with me throughout my life.

I have no doubt that this feeling was inspired in large part by my Grandpa Merritt, who taught me to fish when I was 4 years old. Our fishing adventures always included waking pre-dawn to go out and scour the lawn for earthworms, followed by floating blissfully along a river or lake, basking in the glow of the summer sun and his delight in my presence.

“Captains Courageous” awakened within me the idea that perhaps, somewhere long ago in time, some part of me that exists now had existed then and was carried forward through time as an emotional memory that blossomed in my 12-year-old girl’s heart. The fruit of that blossoming was a poem I called “The Shipwreck,” and that I wrote with so much flow and ease it was as if someone else was directing the pen.

This is that poem:

The Shipwreck

The Demons of the Deep
As if in fitful slumber
Rustle in their sleep
And drag the lifeboats under.

A struggling grasp at Life
A final gasp of breath
The ending of all strife
The peacefulness of death.

The wreckage on the waves
The cry of a lonely gull
The never-resting graves
The endless rise and fall.

As water demons leap
The lifeless bodies sleep.

By: Ashley Merritt

Where I am from…

I am from the dust soft and hot between my toes on a walnut orchard road…

I am from the cool blue canal, distantly shimmering…

I am from eucalyptus trees and leaves and acorns crunching under my feet, bark smoothroughsmooth under my palm, the smell of the distant lands of my Greats…

I am from the foot of an Incense Cedar, root living with the Tribe of All Animals…

I am from galloping across mountain tops and HUGGGZZZZ...

I am from the womb, The Goodnighted Prune of “Come be tall for me”…

I am from Lemonita, Ashlita!

I am from Me seeing the Moon and the Moon seeing Me…

I am from Fearless and Unsinkable…

I am from the hothothot sand, gull caws, waves crash, seaweed strings…

I am from the Heart of the Unicorn…

I am from tar on my feet and glitter between my toes...

I am from Abbey Road...

I am from the Land of Grands...

I am from the “Get a Chair…” Moon...

I am from the Elephants & made of Cats...

I am Wicked from the West, scaring you out of the theater...

I am from the Santa Barbara Solstice snake...

I am from the center of the Maze...

I am from the room of Zzyzx...

I am from Fire on the Mountain...

I am from the soughing...

I am from floating faerie fluff...

I am from Gigsville, Black Rock City...

I am from “the shiny music that descends from overhead”…

I am from Lizard Hill, green mountains, and horizon islands...

I am from the Enchanted Forest of El Mirador…

I am from Those-Aren’t-Burned-Are-They?!? Bagels…

I am from The TreeTops…

I am from MASH316…

I am from Spoon River, a Contender…

I am from the place where we really ARE just nice…

I am from the Mystery of the Chipped Piano Key...

I am from All the Little Children of the World…

I am from a Small World, after all…

I am from the people in your neighborhood…

I am from NEAR and far…

I am from a place with pingpong ball rains…

I am from the hand that holds the brush…

I am from every murder of crows…

I am from Valinor…

I am from the Stars…

I am from Moon Mountain..

I am from the pink jellyfish in Puget Sound…

I am from a Canadian lightning strike...

I am from so much more…

I am from NOW NOW!